Feeling lost

This is one if those unplanned posts where I just have the feeling to write down my thoughts in the hope that it will help make some sense of whats going on in my head. If you haven't guessed already, this is gonna be one of those rambly chatty posts that most certainly won't make sense to anyone including myself but here goes. Stick with me here- there's an end in sight, promise. 



So for quite a while now I've been feeling really lost. Feeling lost isn't a nice feeling, especially when I'm used to knowing exactly where I am and where I'm meant to be going. It's like those times when you're a small child and you lose your parents in a supermarket. You have a sudden feeling of panic whilst frantically try looking for them - I know it can't have just been me who was terrified when that happened?

For the first time in my life I don't have the next step of the 'life plan' in place. Before now I've always had another year of education ahead of me and since finishing uni last Summer I've been totally lost in what to do next. For some this might not be a big thing and for others may be such a liberating time of their lives where they can do anything they want to. But thats the issue- I don't know what I can't decide what I want to do and it's so frustrating!

You see motivational quotes etc like 'Make it happen', 'Make your dreams a reality' but what if you don't know what 'it' is or what your 'dreams' are? I'm all for going for it and making shit happen when I know what the end goal is but at the moment I have no idea what that is and so I'm just drifting along. Part of me is screaming at myself saying choose something, anything and if it doesn't work then change it. But,,, well thats my problem- my head is filled with what if's. What if I get stuck in a dead end job? What if an opportunity passes me by whilst I'm doing something else? I suppose that's just life. I guess I know I
need to do something regardless of what it is.

Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost - Erol  Ozan

I came across this quote whilst trying to find the meaning of life or some sort of answer to all my questions (Google wasn't too helpful) and thought it was quite apt. I'm hoping the above words are true and I know I'm not the only one to have felt like this before. However, if anyone has some wise words regarding life decisions or the answer to 'what do I want to do with my life' please leave a comment and share your thoughts. I know its going to be ok in the end, I just don't like how long its taking to get there.

Apologies for such a long dear diary sort of post. Writing these things down actually helps put some sense into what is a confusing time for me. Lets hope I wake up tomorrow and the answer is there in front of me. Until then. . .

Chrissy x